Dilemma

Outside Secret Recipe

Timothy: Happy Birthday!
Me: Thanks!

More and more friends arriving; shook hands after exchanging birthday wish and thanks. When it is Daniel’s turn, we shook hands and…

Me: Happy Birthday!
Daniel and Me: !?

Everyone roared with laughter.

Thanks a lot Daniel, Donny, Pauline, Pei Sze, Siaw Wei, Siew Yong, Timothy and Wan Yan for celebrating my birthday with me. I appreciate it very much! :)

Also, thanks everyone for the birthday wishes!

*******

During class hours, it was just another day. Class ended in a blink of the eye and its time for choir club.

It was Shu Chan and my birthday, so the members of the choir club sang the ‘Happy Birthday’ song before starting the usual practice.

Nothing much happened until I received a sms from Siew Yong telling me that there will be a gathering at Secret Recipe. There I met a number of my ex-classmates, Daniel and I talked like no tomorrow until we were cut off by the rest, telling us to place our orders.

Timothy brought his girlfriend along and I’d say she stands at 4.5 out of 5 points if I am to rate her; the majority are likely to agree with me that she’s gorgeous. Apparently she came out halfway during a dinner and had to go back in a short while.

After spending like 2 hours in Secret Recipe, the majority decided the next stop would be the Kuching Festival. Since I had not been there yet, I’d give a shot for it. Daniel, Timothy and Donny were the ones driving. So we split into groups of 3 and proceed to our destination.

Still the same old spot like last year, nothing changed, all the same (Donny went to meet his girlfriend while the rest of us explore the stalls). Time seemed to pass by so swiftly until someone pointed out that it’s getting late and Siew Yong had to be back at home before 11pm.

Timothy sent Pei Sze and Siaw Wei home while Daniel sent Siew Yong home. The remaining 4 of us – Daniel, Pauline, Wan Yan and I went to the KIA aka poikeeteo. There we talked about relationships and relationships and anything related to relationships.

The clock struck twelve, It’s Wan Yan’s turn to go home. Pauline insisted on staying back to talk but then she went home too the moment the car reached her house.

With the relationship topic fresh in mind, I asked Daniel about her and he told me what I needed to know and joining his story and my own story to get the picture of what is actually going on.

I told him that:

I was forced to wake up early in the morning somewhere around 5.30am when my handphone notified me of an incoming sms. Out of curiosity wondering who sent a sms at this hour, I checked the inbox.

She sent a ‘birthday song’ sms. Of course I’m glad about it but thinking that I must be dreaming, I left my handphone back to where it was and continued to sleep. 3 hours later, after realizing that it wasn’t a dream, I proceed to thank her for the birthday wish.

Instead of hearing something positive, he said: “You only thank her and that’s all?”

What else should I do then? It would be weird to talk more than that.

In his opinion, the sms she sent must have been special since it was sent early in the morning, likely the first thing she did after waking up. He also said that it won’t directly occur to her to just send me a sms without proper planning. He had his point.

But then in my opinion, this is just a normal greeting to me since it is normal for her to wake up as early as 5 in the morning and nothing more than that. There is a high chance that both minds do not think alike. Meaning to say that if I took it seriously while she took it casually, it would be like what my friends used to say in mandarin: Zhi(4) Zuo(4) Duo(1) Qing(2).

Thinking back, I had stopped smsing with her daily for like 10 months after something unpleasant happened even though the previous conflict had been cleared. During those 10 months, many had happened but in the end he said everything is now stable. He also told me that maybe I should take the first step instead of just waiting. I ever considered it before but then deep in my heart I would not want the same thing to repeat again.

Indeed a few of my friends pointed out that I never showed any special interest in any girls. The reason is because she is still in my mind. The same girl Kelvin and Jeff asked about during ‘Truth or Dare’ on Irene’s birthday last year. I wonder anyone realized I was startled when the question was thrown at me. Nevertheless, I answered it calmly, removing the doubts from the faces staring at me.

Yes I know this is a one-sided feeling. I doubt I will get any response or reply from the other side but I never bothered about it. I like it this way – staying single and sometimes recalling those fond memories in Form 2. That alone is sufficient for me to face any day.