Departure

While I am blogging this entry, deep in my heart I hope for an explanation for everything that had happened.

A midnight conversation with a friend declined into a fierce battlefield when more participants were invited to clarify things up. Everyone was shooting their cannons points into the conversation. It was very chaotic until someone took the initiative to quiet down all the participants and told them to take turns to voice out their opinions and points or anything they have in mind with the condition of not going off-topic.

I admit that I can be hot-headed at times, that is why I always controlled my temper when I am facing the world. But when I am facing the monitor, I don’t give a damn about my temper especially when I am not in a good mood. But I still do consider the feelings of those who are with me in the conversation, thoughts of not going overboard and careful in picking my usage of words and so on.

There are countless gossips revolving in one single target, I have no need to mention what is that so-called target. It used to be for the whole community, but recently it seems like it had became limited to a number of people only.

The day we entered the race was the day we paid the fee and took up the challenge of the obstacle course, it was separated into 2 sections. The first one is just the basic while the second one is for the advanced levels. After passing the basic section only then will one be qualified to continue on to the advance section.

One of the fallen runner felt that:

Indeed we all began the race from the same starting point, even though there are no prizes for the champion, 1st runner up and 2nd runner up, we promised to accompany each other till the end of the line. The track is separated to 2 sections; the first one is the easier one out of the two. Many had fallen in the first section and those who had not, of course move on to the second section. But there are times when a few tripped and fall, resulting in delaying themselves in the long run. Of course, those who had not fallen continued to move forward, aiming for the ending point

It seems that those who were left behind in the first section were ignored and the ones in the second section cared only for themselves, in other words, became selfish and think only for their own benefits. Most of the time, those in the first section called out to the ones in the second section but whatever they mentioned fell on deaf ears. One of the fallen runners called out to those ahead of him in the second section of the race. Luckily those in the second section did stop and reconsider what those in the first section had mentioned though it must have been unwillingly.

It was already expected – those in the second section were in a different level compared to the first. What more can they say?

*******

Because the race was very long, breaks were given after a certain period of time. And when ‘that’ period of time arrives, celebration comes into the mind of many.

Another fallen runner believed that:

It is a special occasion for the majority, in fact, for everyone. A gathering was planned days before the actual day - the location is decided, the food was ordered, and the games were chosen. The host said that he will pay for everything first and the community had agreed to share the burden of the cost of the expenses.

After that fateful day, it seems like it was just empty promises made to a fool. No one even mentioned about the gathering anymore, maybe they had forgotten or maybe they were just pretending not to remember anything about it. To him, it seemed like he had carried the burden himself after all. He did not voice it out to claim the fees from the community but instead, he took it as a treat for them because they are friends of his.

Another person who had the similar experience with the person mentioned above felt that people like him and the one mentioned can only use money to show that they love their friends.

During the aftermath of the gathering, while two participants (A and B) were having a conversation. A mentioned that a member of the community wasn’t invited while B was shocked and wordless as it was the opposite for B because the so-called-uninvited member actually wanted to call off the gathering. He felt that the uninvited member called off the gathering because ‘someone’ couldn’t make it to the gathering but that ‘someone’ actually made it but came later than the agreed time.

Now B feels bad and upset at the same time, putting the blame on himself just because of some inconsiderate member. It might be a misunderstanding, or it might not be after all.

*******

After all that had happened,

This fallen runner felt that:

It had all been a play. A play and nothing more, at the end of the day, it was nothing more than he himself being the fool. He had always thought that he could get along with those who were now in the second section but he was wrong. Attempts had been made to get closer to them, instead of showing the same to him; they exclude him in the circle.

He told himself that maybe it is because he was still new to them and they need some time to get used to having another new member in their gang. Days passed and weeks passed but he waited patiently. A year had passed and it had still been the same. He began to felt fed up with them and decided to tell his friends who had accompanied him all the way from young about it. Instead of receiving words of comfort and encouragement, they reprimanded him for being slow to understanding the true picture of the whole story.

He had in his hand a number of the bright colored puzzle pieces. He never knew about the whereabouts of the other pieces of puzzles and had been naïve to think that by collecting all the pieces of the puzzle pieces and assembling it together, it will form into a piece of beautiful artwork with a happy ending.

His true friends showed him the pieces of puzzle they had in hand; they were not shinning with brightness but instead, the pieces were giving off an eerie glow of darkness. Nevertheless, piece by piece, the puzzle was assembled by him with the help of his friends. The puzzle showed him the true picture, clarifying what he was unsure or never knew of. Even though the puzzle is still incomplete, the majority of the pieces were dark, and the darkness had shrouded the glowing brightness of the puzzle pieces he originally had. He gave up assuming that the missing pieces were the bright ones since the dark ones had already outnumbered the bright ones by 10 to 1.

‘Closer friends’ is the keyword that triggered his anger. Enough said.

*******

He used to think that it was the best thing that happened to him when he joined the community though he never knew of any good reason to tell himself why he choose to join the community. He chooses to stay in the community because of a certain someone. That person is not his crush but a friend whom he respected.

Now he thinks otherwise, there is no need to look for a reason why he joined the community. He came seeking neither fame nor talent, but only to widen his circle of friends. Since such simple objective couldn’t be accomplished, there is no reason for him to stay on either.

When the time comes,
The sun hides its face and the sky burns a fiery red,
The moon appears and provides the land with its light,

Lighting a path,
No turning back, no regrets,
They will depart, not separately but as one.

Time will tell. Relations had declined into a steady stream of hatred and disappointment.

Attention: This is fictional and anything that resembles the above is of pure coincidence.