Wide awake...

At 4am.

********

Recently I felt that I am going backwards in time while others are moving onward.

I started torrenting old songs sang by Ayumi few years back and going as far as using the P2P client such as Limewire and Ares to download old songs despite the risk of getting a virus infection during file transfer.

Since our choir club conductor - Irene requested the song sang by Les Miserables - 'On my own' this afternoon, having nothing better to do, I hunted for the song in the internet but yield no harvest. In the end, I seek the help of Ares again when Limewire failed me. Even with Ares, it took hours to find a host who is willing to upload the song for you.

I found the song somewhere near 3-4am. Thanks a lot, to whoever you are. When I play the song, it reminds me of the guys in choir club singing 'On my own' and changing the 'he' to 'she' and 'him' to 'her' when they felt the uneasyness in the air when they first sang it.

Also, memories of my secondary school years kept 'haunting' me recently. What's going on with me? I know I should have shut out those past memories of laughter, betrayal, sadness, and regrets. But I just couldn't do so. Why won't you just disappear away from my life if I cannot get rid of you in my thoughts?

Daniel: "She hasn't change at all, that's why you still harbor deep feelings for her."

Should I let go of everything?